My Turn
by JustEscaping
Summary: An unwelcome surprise leads to changes in the lives and dynamics of Jade West and her nemesis-turned-sex-friend Tori Vega. [Slightly AU; Jori]
1. My Turn

**Chapter One: My Turn**

Tori Vega was standing at her locker in a deserted school hallway, checking out her reflection in the small magnetic mirror she had on her locker door. She was waiting, as she had waited every weekday morning for the past sixteen days, for a certain dark-haired, green-eyed girl to show up. At around ten to 7:00 there were only a handful of students at the school so far: the band geeks rehearsing for an upcoming performance, the jocks practicing for some game or another in the gymnasium, and Tori herself. With their friends not yet in sight, this was how Tori and Jade had been starting their days for the past two weeks.

This is the arrangement they had silently agreed to after their first… er… _encounter_. Tori would show up a little before seven in the morning and wait for Jade West to walk through the doors of Hollywood Arts at seven sharp. This pattern had stuck for the past couple of weeks. Today, however, things were different. This particular morning Tori had awoken to an unwelcome surprise. Mother Nature had decided to make an early appearance this month and disrupt her usual morning plans with Jade. Tori was thoroughly unamused by her body's annoying cycle, and spent the better part of her morning routine thinking of ways to work around the situation as she showered, brushed, and make-up'd herself to perfection. The brunette was under no circumstances allowing Jade to do whatever R-rated things she wanted to do to her today, but that did not mean Tori was going to throw in the towel. In fact, she came up with some _very_ creative ways of dealing with Jade this morning.

Lost in those same thoughts, Tori almost missed the second best part of her day. She turned around just in time to get a perfect viewing of what she liked to call The Entrance. Now Tori may have been slightly biased, but she was sure that everyone in the school would agree that Jade had the most confident, sexy stride out of any of them. Whenever the goth walked in, The Entrance would demand everyone's attention – whether it be jealous glares or drooling teenage lust. Everyone knew when Jade West walked into a room. And this morning was no exception. Just by walking into the school, the raven-haired girl did terrible things to Tori's poor heart and respiratory system. She was sure that Jade knew exactly the sort of effect she had on her with the sway of her hips, the bounce of her streaked hair, the way her tight green shirt stretched over her chest, the cocky smirk she directed towards her, and – oh _God_, this always made Tori's knees weak – the desire-filled glint in her clear green eyes. Desire and lust for Tori alone. Not anyone else, and certainly not her _boyfriend_, just her. It may just be enough to give her a heart attack one of these days.

Before Tori could even register what was happening, a very familiar pale hand had slammed her locker shut and was dragging her by the wrist towards their usual spot in the janitor's closet. As soon as they were inside, Jade wasted no time with pleasantries and chose instead to greet Tori with the press of her coffee-flavoured lips. Throwing her tote bag behind her, Jade pinned Tori against the now-locked door. The goth quickly gained entrance into the small brunette's warm, wet mouth. Sucking the girl's tongue, biting her lower lip, and doing all the things she knew Tori loved to get her riled up. Tori didn't even have time to inform Jade of her current predicament, she was so lost in the expertise of Jade's mouth. She was caught up in The West Experience, as she called it in her head, which had become the best part of Tori's day. Instead of breaking off the kiss and telling the goth about the small hiccup in the plans for today, Tori wrapped her arms around her neck and leaned into Jade, letting out a small moan in the process.

Out of all the people Tori had kissed, Jade most definitely won the best kisser award – beating out the rest by a mile and a half. The past two weeks had started off splendidly simply because of Jade and her wonderful tongue… as well as her wonderfully skilled fingers, of course. Speaking of which, Tori felt a cold, pale hand snake its way under her t-shirt and under her bra, sending shivers down her spine as Jade's fingers brushed against her nipple. The brunette let out a groan as Jade split away from her to momentarily catch her breath and take off the Latina's shirt like the expert she had become. She discarded the shirt behind her and it joined her school bag on the floor. This time, the dark-haired girl's lips found themselves on Tori's neck, sucking and kissing just enough to not leave any marks. Just as Jade reached around the girl's back to unclasp her bra, sense reared its ugly head and brought Tori out of her haze of longing.

"W-wait, _Jesus_, I can't do this, Jade" said Tori, opening her eyes and using her own hands to stop Jade's from going any further.

"Sure you can, Vega," replied Jade, slightly annoyed that Tori chose this _particular_ time to find her freakin' moral compass. "Promise it'll be _great_."

Jade emphasized her point by giving the Latina a small hickey on her right breast, just at the edge of her bright pink bra. This elicited yet another moan from Tori and even an "oh _fuck_" – those were rarely achieved without any below the belt action. Jade, quite pleased of herself, decided to leave a matching one on the small girl's other breast. To hell with their 'no hickeys' rule.

Tori, realizing what Jade was thinking of doing, used her hand to push her back slightly, creating some distance between them. Jade looked _pissed off_ at this point but before the girl had a chance to yell at her or to pin her harder against the door, the brunette spoke up.

"I don't mean that I don't _want_ to do this… I mean that I _can't_," Tori clarified for the goth. "As in, it's my time of the month."

"Oh," said Jade with a blank expression. "Right… well um…" started the goth, awkwardly running a hand through her dark hair and looking around for her bag. "I guess I'll see you in class then…"

Just as Jade reached behind her to grab her tote bag, Tori grabbed the raven-haired girl by her arm and stopped her from getting her bag and getting out.

"Just because _I_ can't, doesn't mean _you_ can't either…" the brunette said to Jade, who regarded Tori with a questioning look before realization dawned on her.

"Oh… _oh_," was all the pale girl could reply with, her face flushing due to the dirty thoughts and images currently forming in her head.

Up until this point, Jade had been the top – so to speak – for the most part in their little arrangement. She had been the one to make Tori moan and scream with want, the one to fuck her with her hands and tongue and make the brunette practically see Jesus every morning for the past sixteen days. Tori had only gotten a chance to reciprocate on three occasions – days seven, ten, and fourteen – so it was no surprise that her mind started drifting off into the memories of Jade during those glorious mornings, though quick and infrequent they may have been. The taste of _Jade_ in her mouth, the way she clenched around Tori's fingers as she fucked her, the way the girl had to bite her lower lip to stop herself from screaming too loudly, and, most of all, the Latina remembered the primal and needy way Jade had groaned out "_Tori"_ just as she came.

Tori was abuzz with excitement as she switched roles with Jade. '_It's my turn now,'_ she thought to herself as she licked her lips and stepped closer to Jade, nearly pinning the girl against the wall opposite to the door. Jade wore a scared but excited expression, she had rarely seen this sort of predatory hunger in Tori's gaze. She felt not unlike a prey at this moment and she briefly wondered if the brunette had felt the same way during their very first encounter. Tori ran her right hand through Jade's dark hair and pushed the girl's head forward to meet with her own. Their mouths connected in a soft crash, their lips cushioning their teeth from colliding. Tori was first to shove her tongue into Jade's mouth this time. Forcing the girl to groan and open her mouth wider to accommodate their intertwined tongues. Jade let Tori have the dominance this time around only because she was pretty much _dying_ to know what the brunette planned on doing with it.

The Latina girl used both her hands to nearly tear the tight green shirt off of Jade. She quickly reconnected their mouths, _Christ_ she could never get enough of The West Experience. She trailed her warm hands over the goth's pale body, cupping her chest over her black bra before reaching behind to unclasp and remove the annoying garment off of Jade. It built on the small pile of clothes on the ground by their feet. Tori took a moment to admire the perfection that was Jade West, from her hips to her waist to her fantastic breasts and of course her gorgeous face and beautiful eyes. Her eyes were the first thing Tori had noticed about the girl when she had barged into Sikowitz's class all those months ago and started yelling at Tori. And Jade's body… there weren't enough adjectives to describe how beautiful her body was. She could have been one of those girls that the Latina would be ridiculously jealous of had it not been for the fact that she was sleeping with her.

"You're so perfect," whispered Tori, letting go of some of her primal dominance to express what had been on her mind for months now. Her eyes met with the goth's who blushed and averted her gaze. They both knew those were not the three words that Tori wanted to say at this moment but they would have to do for now. Jade simply brought her hand up to cup the Latina's face, bringing her into a soft, tender kiss. This was as much of a response as she was going to get and Tori knew that. Hell, the brunette was surprised that Jade had even given her this amount of acknowledgement. The Latina locked this moment up in her permanent memory, she would think of it every time she saw Jade with _him_. Every time she would see Beck doing all the things she desperately longed to do with Jade, Tori would revel in this moment. Knowing that this was a piece of the goth girl he would never have. A piece that belonged to Tori alone, never to be shared with anyone else… least of all Beck.

Anger fueling her desire now, Tori pushed Jade fully against the cold wall. Turning their soft, meaningful kiss into a lust-driven battle of tongues and teeth. Jade let out a surprised moan and brought her hand away from Tori's face and used it to grab onto a fistful of the brunette's hair, the other hand tightening its grip on her small hips. Tori enjoyed the slight change of pace, she had every intention of making this memorable for Jade. She wanted the girl to experience something that would consume her thoughts and dreams at night, making her restless and unable to sleep, making her wet and craving Tori and forcing her to fuck herself in order to gain some semblance of peace. '_Good,'_ thought Tori to herself, '_then it won't just be me going crazy at night.'_

The Latina girl trailed a hand down to Jade's black skinny jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping along the way. Knowing full well where this was heading, Jade kicked off her boots to make it easier for Tori to take off her pants. The brunette tore her lips away from Jade's as she bent down, getting on her knees and working Jade's jeans and underwear off of her. The girl propped up each of her feet as required, getting the garments off and casting them aside with the rest.

Just as soon as they were off, Jade felt Tori's fingers glide their way up her inner thigh motioning the goth to spread her legs. She did as Tori requested and took a sharp breath as she felt a finger rub ever-so-slightly against her clit. Jade was surprised at how wet she had become over the past fifteen minutes or so. Who knew that a dominant Tori would be getting her off _this_ much.

Tori slipped her middle finger inside of Jade, feeling the wetness and warmth envelop and coat her finger as she pushed it in as far it would go. She then used her tongue to get a taste of the girl, dragging it across her cunt and just barely flicking the nub of nerves that would drive Jade to the edge. Tori had planned on dragging this out for as long as possible, to torture the goth girl as she had tortured her. But getting a taste of Jade made her only want more, to fuck the girl hard and to make her scream. _N__ow_.

Curling her finger slightly inside of Jade, Tori sought the familiar spot that would make the girl see stars. She knew she'd hit home when she heard Jade let out a moan and felt the girl's hand find its way into her hair, tightening her grip and urging her closer. Tori pulled her finger out and pushed in both her forefinger along with the middle this time. She heard a louder groan coming from the goth and felt her adjusting to the new and welcome intrusion. The wetness once again spreading on her fingers, making them slick enough to move in out of the girl at an excruciatingly slow pace. She knew that Jade was getting riled up quickly through these ministrations, if her short breaths and increasingly flushing skin were any indication, so the brunette decided to add to her pleasure… wanting to overload the girl just as she had done to Tori time and time again. She once again used her tongue to flick at Jade's clit. Spreading her lips with her free hand, Tori then started to softly suck on Jade's clit as her fingers quickened their pace, stretching and fucking the girl harder.

Jade's grip in her hair almost hurt at this point, but Tori didn't care. Her pants and moans getting louder with each suck, flick, and push. The Latina girl pulled back enough to gaze up at the raven-haired girl whose eyes flickered open seemingly in sync with Tori. Her cheeks were flushed, her lower lip was caught in between her teeth, and her green eyes were hazed over with pleasure and a glint of anger, the goth undoubtedly wanted to yell at Tori for pulling away. But the Latina had planned for this moment in great detail during her morning routine. She pulled out her fingers completely, adding a third as she pushed back into the tightness of Jade. This is what the brunette wanted to see, the surprise on the goth girl's face and the wave of lust glazing over her eyes just as she shut them closed and threw her head back.

"Jesus _fucking_ Christ," groaned Jade. The feeling of Tori's fingers pushing inside her, filling her, fucking her was almost enough to drive her over the edge.

Tori brought her tongue back to Jade's clit. Sucking it with more pressure and fucking Jade faster and harder. Hitting that spot inside the girl with every push into her tight cunt. She knew the girl was _very_ close now, her grip on Tori's hair painfully tight and her hips were trying to grind down to meet her fingers. All it took was one synchronized motion of Jade's hips coming down, Tori's fingers pushing up inside her, and a particularly hard suck on her clit to make Jade come undone.

"Oh fuck, _Tori_," Jade moaned as she felt herself tighten around the Latina's fingers and felt ripples of pleasure cascade down to the tips of her toes. Tori continued to slowly move her fingers inside of Jade, bringing her down from her orgasm. The goth felt exhausted and complete all in one moment, she really should let Tori dominate more often. Jade felt the Latina withdraw her fingers after a few moments, and glanced down in time to see the girl lick off her fingers one by one. '_Jesus fuck, is she trying to kill me?'_ Jade thought to herself with her mouth agape, unable to look away from Tori.

With the goth girl's grip loosened on her hair, Tori pulled away from Jade and searched around the pile of clothes for her own shirt. Retrieving it, the brunette pulled it over her head as she stood up to nearly eye-level with Jade and leaned forward to capture the girl's lips in one last kiss for the day. She kissed Jade tenderly, no longer driven by a need to prove her worth to the dark-haired girl. What she needed instead was for this to mean something to Jade. To feel about her the way she felt about the goth and to drive her crazy at nights when she would be alone with her thoughts, theorizing and rationalizing just as Tori did every night.

Jade tasted herself on Tori's lips and on the brush of the girl's tongue. She thought to deepen the kiss, erotically craving more of Tori's tongue and the taste of herself, but the Latina had other plans. Tori simply ended the kiss softly, pulled back and gave Jade a shy smile before turning around, unlocking the door, and walking right out into the hallway.

Confused but satiated, Jade realized it was nearly time all their friends would start showing up and another day of classes would begin at Hollywood Arts. She dressed with just enough time to run over to the washroom and reapply her make-up as well as fix any sex hair she may have had. The goth was just about finished fixing herself up when she paused, just for a moment, to stare at her reflection and think about Vega and what on earth their briefly legitimate emotional kiss had meant. When the hell had this arrangement become even the slightest bit emotional? And how the fuck was she supposed to bring the emotional shit to a screeching halt? Just as she was on the brink of freaking out, a loud swing of the washroom door jerked her out of her thoughts and the dark-haired girl shook her head, blowing off the absurdity of her concerns. Of course this wasn't emotional, she didn't _do_ feelings, she was worrying for no reason. Jade quickly packed up to leave and meet up with her very committed and loving boyfriend, that's all the feelings she needed in her life. Just as she exited the washroom, she was greeted with a 'Hey' and a kiss from Beck. Regarding her with a relaxed smile and taking her by the hand, he started to lead them to their first class for the day.

Jade tried to will herself to feel normal, tried to ignore the nagging feeling that something was off, but that was becoming more difficult. Especially when Beck's hand suddenly felt foreign and awkward in hers and his kiss felt like the peck of a bird, pulling at her lips all wrong. And before Jade could stop the gears in her brain, she came to the stunning realization that she was no longer in love with Beck Oliver – and hadn't been for a while now, if she was being honest – but more importantly (and terrifyingly), she was falling for Tori Vega.

'_Well, shit.'_

* * *

******A/N: Hey all, so this was meant to be a one-shot smutastic Jori fic but plot bunnies took over my brain. So changing things up a bit, brace yourselves. Some edits have been made on this chapter ********(but evidently not enough, oops. Fixed now, sorry I effed up lol...)**. As well as on chapter two, which I plan on posting fairly soon. Thank you for the reviews! Hope you like where I take this story.  



	2. It's Not a River

**Chapter Two: It's Not a River**

This was quite possibly turning out to be the longest drama class in the history of her time at Hollywood Arts. Jade could barely pay attention to whatever the hell Sikowitz was saying… Or rather doing given all the crazy hand gestures and movements he was displaying for the class. She was too lost in the weird thoughts she was having about the girl sitting right in front of her, who seemed to actually be paying attention to whatever Sikowitz was talking about. '_Ugh, who gave her the fucking right to do this to me?_' Jade thought angrily for the umpteenth time that morning.

And yet Jade's thoughts kept returning to that moment in the janitor's closet. What the hell had possessed her to kiss Tori so… _sweetly_? Yuck. Jade West didn't do emotional attachments; even her boyfriend could attest to that. She hadn't let herself be that vulnerable since her and Beck first got together. And even that wasn't as much of an emotional rollercoaster as her thing with Vega. Beck was more like a teacup ride, spinning predictably and only as fast as she wanted. Her feelings for Beck had never been even a fraction as confusing as the ones she was apparently having for Vega. But for some reason she let herself get caught up in a stupid cliché moment back in the closet. She'd slipped up. It would _so_ not happen again.

Before Vega had joined the school, Jade had everything going for her – a boyfriend who didn't pester her too much, friends who left her to her own devices, and the ability to not give a shit about anything. Ever since the Latina had graced the halls with her ridiculously cheery presence, things had changed. Jade would rather shoot herself in the foot than admit aloud that Tori had caught her eyes from the very moment she was dragged backstage for her impromptu performance, but it was true nonetheless.

What Jade was more terrified of was _why_ she was falli – er, _interested_ in Vega. She knew exactly why she had been interested in Beck: he was talented, obviously, and always seemed to be cool and collected – different from the rest of the untalented wannabe bitches in freshman year. He was good without trying too hard and the dark-haired girl liked it. In fact, Jade always knew exactly why she was interested in someone she was seeing… except for now. The Latina girl was an enigma. Jade understood, subconsciously, what was going on – she had been in therapy for four years _and_ did take Intro to Psych, after all – but she hated to even think of that reason. Let alone ponder on it for longer than necessary. Anytime the thought of _her_ came into the goth girl's mind, Jade ended up drinking too much or beating the shit out of the punching bag hanging in her room. Yes, she had an actual punching bag in her room – her old psychologist had suggested it to her dad after the third time she had half-destroyed her room. Begrudgingly, the goth admitted that it was pretty useful. Cleaning up after one of her tantrums was a pain in the fucking ass.

Tori reminded the raven-haired girl of everything she had lost, everything that used to bring her joy but now only sorrow. She confused Jade endlessly, making a paradox of all the emotions she thought were under her control. After everything that had happened, Jade had completely changed and everything in her life had started to fall apart. Her parents even got a divorce simply because they couldn't handle the reminders any longer. Hell, her mother moved to a different state because of it.

When she finally got some of her shit together, Vega walked in and made everything grey again. Blurring all the boundaries Jade had set for herself so that she wouldn't suffocate on her own misery, so that breathing would hurt just a little bit less. But it was different with Tori – somehow she managed to make breathing both easier and tougher at the same time. She made Jade smile and infuriated her just by saying "Hey". The brunette was, simply put, an annoying thorn in her side. Actually, it was more like a branch. Shoved into her chest. And it couldn't be removed no matter how hard Jade tried to pull it out. Fucking Tori Vega.

The dark-haired girl was too busy festering over her angry thoughts to even register that Sikowitz had called her name. Or that the entire class was staring at her, including Vega who did a complete 180 in her seat to look back at her, regarding her with a concerned gaze.

"What!?" bellowed Jade, instantly scaring the entire class. Well, at least some things hadn't changed.

"Babe, calm down," said her boyfriend, sitting to her right.

"Sikowitz wanted you and I to act out the scene," Tori informed her in a careful tone.

Jade instantly got up and briskly walked onto the makeshift stage at the front of the room, taking the lines out of Sikowitz's hands as she went.

"Well? Are we doing this or what?" the goth yelled to Vega. "Don't got all day now, do we Tor?" she said in her best imitation of a southern accent, obviously mocking the brunette. '_And cue typical response in three, two…_'

"I don't talk like that!"

Vega was so easy. In more ways than one.

* * *

The end of the school day could not come soon enough for Tori. She was feeling tired and craving an obscene amount of chocolate. Her plans for the night included said chocolate, sappy rom-coms and maybe a bit of Adele to make her cry and feel just the right amount of pathetic. She was more than a little displeased to find out her sister was staying late after school in preparation for yet another one of her One Woman Shows and would not be able to give her a ride home. At least the sunny weather of Los Angeles wouldn't make the walk home too inconvenient.

The Latina had just left the building and was about to cross the school parking lot when a black convertible suddenly pulled up right beside her, almost brushing her thigh. Tori was going snap at the driver but then she realized who it was. '_Of course, why am I even surprised?_'

"Get in, Vega. I'm giving you a ride," said Jade.

Tori was too exhausted to fight with the goth right now, so she did as she was told. She got into the passenger seat, placed her bag on her lap, and buckled her seatbelt. Jade raised a questioning eyebrow at Tori, slightly surprised at the brunette's complacency. She chalked it up to period cramps and shrugged it off before shifting the gear to drive and taking them out of the school lot – she preferred it when the brunette wasn't speaking anyways. But Tori could only pull the passive aggressive moody card for so long before her curiosity took over and she broke her silence.

"What gives, Jade? You never give me a lift home."

The Latina's question went unanswered with more silence.

"You know you can't have sex with me, right? Still on my first day, as you know…"

She saw a little twitch in the corner of Jade's mouth.

"I'm serious. It's not happening," reemphasized Tori. She knew there was a zero chance of Jade letting her repeat the events of this morning so she was _definitely_ putting her foot down on this. There were only a few things that she wouldn't let the raven-haired girl do to her, and this was most certainly one of them.

"Just shut up Vega. It's a ride home. Don't get an aneurysm trying to overanalyze it."

Apparently her persistency seemed to drive some answers out of Jade but nothing that the Latina wanted to hear. Tori had had just about enough of the goth girl's shitty attitude and avoidance of the 'what are we' discussion at this point. And maybe it was the annoying cramps or the sexual frustration she was feeling, but something gave the Latina girl a surge of anger and confidence, not unlike the one she had experienced earlier that day, making her want to give Jade a piece of her mind.

"Jade, can you stop being such a bitch and just tell me what on Earth is going on?" snapped Tori.

"What's going on is that I'm driving you home, Vega," replied Jade in an equally rude tone. "Thought that was obvious with you being in my car and me driving…"

"Can you stop pulling that crap with me?" Tori said exasperatedly. "I meant with _us. _What are we doing? What is going on with us? Does our relationship end at being fuck buddies?"

"Vega, do _not_ call this a relationship again. I may just vomit if you do," said the goth scathingly. "We're nothing. _You're_ nothing. We're having fun. And that's it."

"Stop bullshitting me, we both know something happened this morning. Why do you have to be so stubborn?" yelled the brunette. "What are you so afraid of? Honestly!"

"Shut the fuck up, Vega. I'm not _afraid_ of anything. Least of all anything pertaining to you, don't be such a dumb little bitch about this."

There was a moment of tense silence as Tori allowed herself to feel a flash of hurt and anger at the cutting insult.

"You know what? That's it. I'm done," she said, trying to hold back the tears. She would _not_ let Jade see her cry. "Just drop me off here and then fuck off."

Jade was too infuriated at the girl to even think better of this. She stopped at the closest stop sign, only a street away from Vega's. Not bothering to make eye contact with the brunette as she got out and Jade started driving away as soon as she heard the slam of the passenger door closing behind her. '_Well, you can fuck off too. Fucking self-righteous, brown-nosing, cheery bitch. This is what I get for trying to be nice to her_' the dark-haired girl thought angrily to herself.

Tori practically ran to her house, breaking down in tears just as she closed the front door behind her. She had never been more glad that her family wasn't home or that any of her friends weren't trying to barge in. The brunette sank to the floor and leaned her back against the door, bringing her knees to her chest. She didn't have it in her to explain herself or what was going on with Jade and her to anyone right now. Tori barely understood it herself. Jade was the bitchiest, most aggressive girl Tori had ever met. The girl treated friends like shit and her even worse than that. The Latina hated herself a little for allowing Jade to start whatever it is she started with her. The girl had a boyfriend, after all. A guy who was one of her close friends and though she hated him a little for getting to be public with Jade, she knew, rationally, that she was the one who was at fault.

Tori got up and walked over to the bright red couch in the middle of the family room. Slumping down on it, the brunette felt the weight of today's events crashing down on her. Hell, she was finally feeling all those emotions she had been rationalizing and boxing away for the past couple of weeks. She knew this was exactly the sort of destructive relationship that her parents had warned her against when she first started dating. The verbal abuse and the constant degradation of her self-esteem were more than enough reasons to hate Jade and completely cut her out of her life. But there was a part of Tori, a completely masochistic and insane part, that couldn't bear to breathe without Jade in her life. Even now, all Tori wanted to do was whip out her phone and immediately apologize to Jade for what happened in the car and go back to letting the dark-haired girl do all the R-rated things she wanted to. The Latina girl sighed, deciding instead to turn off her phone and head up to her room before she lost whatever little self-respect and dignity she had left.

* * *

To say Jade was pissed off would be a great fucking understatement. She was furious, enraged, and yeah, pissed _the_ _fuck_ off. She could not believe that Vega actually grew a pair and broke up with _her_. Nobody had ever dumped the goth girl. Ever. But here she was feeling every bit dumped by that annoying, Taylor Swift-loving, nauseatingly optimistic, stupidly naïve little… little _fucker_! She landed an extra hard blow against her punching bag in an emphasis of her anger.

She fucking hated Tori Vega. _Punch_. It was obviously some form of temporary insanity that possessed her to start something with the brunette. _Punch_. But then why did she feel like everything was falling apart? That she was losing everything that actually mattered to her?

'_No. Vega does not matter. She's not _her_. And won't ever be_,' she reminded herself.

The loss and emptiness Jade felt six years ago, and even now, could never compare to freaking Vega dumping her. She had tried very hard to continue swimming in her river of denial, trying to convince herself that Vega was nothing like _her_ but that river had been running dry over the past few weeks; it was barely even a puddle anymore. Jade could no longer tell herself that Tori and _her _were completely different. She knew that they had uncanny similarities. Both were ridiculously talented, optimistic to a fault, far too nice, and full of life. Or at least one had been. There was a key difference between the two, _she_ was dead and Jade would never get to see her again. Tori was alive and well, able to live out her dreams and life any way she wanted to. And Jade would get to see her every day for the next year or so at least. Whether she wanted to or not.

Jade sighed and rested her head against the punching bag. It had been like this ever since Vega had walked into her life. Her punching bag had come under frequent use since that day and she had gotten closer and closer to becoming an emotional wreck. How the hell had Vega suddenly become such a significant person in her life? Just thinking about _her_ and Vega was nearly enough to bring Jade close to tears. And she was _so_ not about to let herself cry over the brunette.

'_I need to get my shit together_,' she thought, repeating the words in her head in an attempt to compose herself. She sighed again, deciding to wash up and to, hopefully, wash away her thoughts. The raven-haired girl removed the hand wraps she had on, discarding them on her desk as she proceeded to her en suite washroom. She didn't bother closing the door, it's not like her father was ever home this early or like he would ever venture into her room unannounced. She took off her tank top and sports bra. She walked over to the tub and leaned in to turn the shower on, turning the knob to the hottest degree. Jade took off her shorts and underwear, leaving them on the bathroom floor with the rest of her clothes as she stepped into the burning hot stream of water.

She relaxed under the water pressure, finding it soothing on the tired muscles of her arms. The physical ache she felt from her work out compounded her emotional ache. And a whole other kind of ache that had been bothering her the whole day. Increasing in small increments, building up to the point where it could no longer be channeled into anger or hate. She couldn't just punch it away now that she was naked and alone. Jade hadn't done this since before Tori and her started hooking up, but that didn't mean she'd forgotten the familiarity of her own body. She felt the coils in the stomach, the tightness of her cunt, and the slickness that accompanied it.

Deciding to give into what her body wanted, she spread her legs and felt the hot water cascade between her thighs and down her legs. Jade brought her right hand over her breasts and moved it lower, sliding it over her wet abdomen and down to where she needed her fingers the most. She sucked in a sharp breath as she brushed her fingers against her throbbing clit. Her mind wandering to earlier in the day, when Tori was on her knees, sucking and licking her clit, and fucking her just right. Her imagination and memory filled her abdomen with just the right buzz. The goth girl moved her finger harder against the sensitive bundle of nerves, groaning aloud at the pleasure it was giving her. Her face flushing, she bit down on her bottom lip before moving her fingers down to her tight entrance. Jade used two fingers to push inside herself, moaning at the feeling of being stretched. She could never get the angle quite right, but with the dirty thoughts of Tori in mind, it didn't make much of a difference. She pushed her fingers as far as they would go, pulling out to spread the wetness. She quickly pushed back in, scissoring the fingers inside herself and leaning her head against the cold tiled surface of the wall.

Jade tried to mimic how Tori had done this to her, fucking and stretching her _so_ right. She pushed the fingers deeper inside herself, moaning louder now, pulled out again and pushed in once more. She used the fingers of her left hand to rub against her clit, adding to the pleasure and bringing her closer to an orgasm. She fucked herself faster, pushing her fingers inside herself, and circling harder against her clit, all the while thinking about Tori doing this to her. She briefly wondered if Tori fucked herself thinking about her, and no sooner had the thought come into her head did the explicit images start invading her mind. She felt her cunt tighten around her fingers, she focused on how unbelievably _hot_ it would be to see Tori fingering herself, to see her flushing and moaning and coming to her climax with Jade's name on her lips. The goth fucked herself harder and groaned against the tile, reaching closer to her orgasm as she stretched the tightness. It took a few hard strokes against her clit and the final push of fingers inside herself to make her come undone. '_Fuck_,_ Tor_,' she thought to herself, as she felt the waves of pleasure coursing through her, tingling her spine all the way down to her toes. She rode out her orgasm, getting as much out of it as possible before withdrawing her fingers. Jade leaned away from the wall, bringing her head under the shower once again, and washed off the residue on fingers. She noticed that the water had gotten a few degrees cooler during the time she'd spent fucking herself. She sighed. This was a sign, no doubt, against having impromptu masturbation sessions in the shower.

* * *

Jade stepped out of her convertible and onto the pavement of Rosedale Cemetery. The warm L.A. air breezed through her hair. It was just before sunset, her favourite time of day to go for a visit at the cemetery. She closed the door behind her, hearing the beep of the alarm and the sound of the doors locking when she clicked the remote. She headed towards the path of her usual shortcut to the gravestone. She had a beautiful arrangement of jasmines in her hands, _her_ favourite. It really was a picturesque location, the green fields, the dull gray stones marking the buried, some extravagant and others simpler, and most with flowers adorning the grave. Jade walked past a large sycamore tree to her destination, only a few steps away from the grave.

Jade approached the all-too-familiar gravestone, feeling an odd sense of comfort as she grazed the cold stone with her hands. She sat down next to it on a dry patch of grass, laying the flowers down in front of her. She began her usual ritual of tracing the engraved letters of the epitaph with her hand.

'_Beloved daughter and sister. Forever in our thoughts' _

The goth girl did what she always did next, trace the letters of the engraved name. She slowly circled her finger around the letters of '_Olivia'_. Or Liv as she preferred to be called. Liv West, Jade's older and only sister.

"Hey, Liv. Happy early 22nd birthday," the raven-haired girl whispered to her sister. "Would have been a good one. Probably not as exciting as last year's, but good regardless."

The breeze got cooler as the sun began setting, Jade watched as the sun set past horizon. Wishing for what had got to be the millionth time that Liv was here to see it. She wished many things could change in her life, especially the events of that night. That, by some miracle of God, her sister had survived. But that's what Jade learned about wishes – they didn't mean shit. There wasn't anything anyone could do to change the past. And that was that.

The goth girl came to visit her sister every few days, it was one of the only ways she could clear her jumbled up thoughts. Talking aloud with Liv and trying to make sense of her life or just sitting on the hard Earth in the comforting silence of the cemetery. That was the thing about cemeteries, you could talk to yourself and no one would be allowed to judge you or call you out on your crazy. You could sit here until closing hours in total silence and no one would try to bother you. It was nice. Jade hated talking about her feelings anyways… and that was probably one of the reasons why she had such strained relationships with her family, friends, and even boyfriend. In the beginning, when she and Beck first started dating, she tried to open up. But she didn't like talking, she liked action – there was no point in talking about her emotions when she could so easily express them in a make out session. And at fourteen years of age, no boy would ever question this way of thinking. Now that they were older, Beck seemed to want more of what Jade couldn't give him. They had had numerous fights about Jade being so closed off emotionally but they'd always be resolved and the two would return to each other when the dust settled. They were so used to each other and so equally stubborn that neither was willing to admit the truth – their relationship had run its course. They were over and they knew it… The only things holding their relationship together were the few lingering threads of familiarity and love.

The love was only a shred of what it used to be, and no matter how hard Jade tried she couldn't make herself love Beck the way he wanted and needed her to. And yet, it wasn't because she was incapable of those emotions but rather she was incapable of feeling them towards _him_. But for the longest time Jade thought the former was the case, that is until Tori came into the picture and flipped her world upside down. Jade couldn't stand the girl and couldn't stand to be without her. She was everything Jade didn't know she wanted but suddenly ended up having. Completing the complex puzzle of Jade's emotions and shattering them into more complicated pieces all at once. The dark-haired girl had to admit to herself that, as much as she tried not to, she was falling in love with Tori Vega. And not the fun, comforting kind of love she felt for Beck but the scary, dependant, I-cannot-function-without-you sort of love. And it freaked the hell out of Jade… to the point where she would rather let Tori walk away instead of admitting anything to the girl.

"Liv, I'm so fucked," she declared aloud. "Remember that Vega girl I told you about? Yeah well I lied when I said I hated her… but you probably already knew that."

"She's actually a lot like you. She has a really pretty smile and she's way too freaking nice for her own good. And when she sings, Liv, she's like how you used to be. Amazing, breath-taking, radiant, captivating, pretty much every cliché adjective I could use to describe you… she _is_ that too."

"But I think she wants me to love her, Liv. And I don't know if I can do that. I don't know if I'm ready to let it happen. It scares the shit out of me and I can't believe I'm saying this but, _she_ scares me. I-I think I really like her. I mean, _really_. Maybe even love her. And I think she feels the same way… but I keep fucking things up with her. But you probably already know that too… God, I wish you were here. You'd know just what to say to help me deal with Vega…"

Jade groaned and put her head in her hands, the frustration and fear of her feelings becoming almost too overwhelming. The sun had completely set now, and an eerie darkness spread around the cemetery. Throw in some fog and undead vampires and you'd have a Buffy set ready to go for shooting. Jade chuckled to herself, Buffy Summers had been her sister's favourite character of all time. Liv had gotten Jade into cult classics from a young age, Lord forbid Jade grow up to have bad taste in television or cinema she had claimed. The goth girl sighed and laid down next to Liv's grave, gazing up the moon and stars starting to appear in the sky above.

"I miss you, Liv," she whispered into the rustling night air. Closing her eyes, Jade thought of what Liv's responses would be in this situation. Her sister would probably tell her to pull her head out of her ass and tell Tori about her feelings. To stop being such a bitch to the girl and to actually give it chance. But Liv wasn't here, and the hole she had left in Jade's heart could never be filled. Her friends didn't understand her and the only person that knew a shred of the stuff going on in her life was Beck and she certainly wasn't going talk to her _boyfriend_ about the _girl_ she was cheating on him with. And since Liv couldn't talk sense into Jade, the goth girl really had no one else to turn to about this.

Suddenly, an idea hit her and Jade shot up in a sitting position. She rummaged through her pockets and pulled out her phone. There _was_ someone Jade could talk to and she felt quite dumb not turning to her before. Apparently, Vega had affected more parts of her brain function than she had originally thought. Jade scrolled down the list of her contacts until she reached the one she wanted and hit the call button.

"Dr. Turner's office, this is Stephanie speaking, how may I help you?" said the rehearsed voice of a cheery receptionist. The girl was different from the receptionist who had used to greet Jade, things had changed it seemed.

"I'd like to book an appointment with Dr. Turner," the goth girl informed the new receptionist. "It's Jade West, you'll have me on file…"

* * *

******A/N: Yep, decided to make this into an actual fic. That's right, an actual multi-chapter fic with plot. It's not a foreign concept to me, go figure. Also, e****dits have been made to chapter one, nothing major just syntax mostly. Check it out if you would like to.** Anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think! 


	3. The Right Steps

**Chapter Three: The Right Steps**

Jade sat next to Cat by their usual lunch table nervously gripping a cup of coffee and fidgeting in her seat. She had yet to see Tori today but that wasn't unusual for Friday mornings – their schedules only aligned in the afternoons. Jade figured the girl was probably going out of her way to avoid seeing her, seeming to be actually determined and serious about breaking things off between them. The brunette failed to show up for their early morning rendezvous and though Jade should have expected it, she would be lying if she said she wasn't more than a little disappointed. The goth had hoped that, after she calmed down, the optimistic, forgiving, everyone-deserves-a-second-chance Tori would return and allow Jade to explain herself. And now here Jade was, sitting and anxiously waiting for a girl she swore to everyone she despised wondering if she had reached her quota of second chances.

Her eyes kept scanning the crowd of students emerging from the school or lounging around the building for the cheery brunette and still nothing. She turned around, craning her neck to see if the Latina was by the food cart waiting with Beck, Andre, and Robbie but no such luck. Her boyfriend looked over and smiled at her, probably under the assumption she was waiting for him… Oh Beck, little did he know. At one point Beck's smile was all it took to make Jade feel happy and now all she felt was guilt. And Jade West had _never_ felt guilty about any of her actions, no matter how cruel. Until Vega, with her stupidly infectious kindness, decided to make the goth girl fall for her. In the past, Jade had had no problems screwing someone over to get a lead part or solo in a performance or just generally fucking with someone's life for her own amusement. It wasn't that big of a deal to her until now. Self-revelations sucked. Along with pretty brunette girls with pretty smiles who made her feel… _things_. Ugh, Vega had made her into a sap. A big fucking sap who felt _feelings_. Perfect.

"She's not coming," said her redheaded friend, pulling Jade out of her disgruntled musings. She turned to look suspiciously at the odd girl who was chewing bits of her lettuce-only salad.

"Who?" Jade asked, narrowing her eyes and letting her robotic bitch instinct kick in before she could stop herself.

"Tori, obviously," Cat replied in a sort of all-knowing tone. See with Cat, Jade could never pinpoint if the girl was highly perceptive or alarmingly clueless. Most of the time when the girl spoke it led the goth to conclude the latter. But sometimes, in moments like this, Jade was struck by how eerily observant the redhead was.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said stoically, unable to stop her instant habit of '_deny, deny, deny_' from kicking in. It was evident Cat knew… _something_ considering that tone. What was the point of hiding things from her? As much as Jade tried to logically reason with herself, she physically couldn't bring herself to admit anything to her friend. Her therapist would surely have a few words to say about that.

"She texted me, said that she was sick and wasn't coming to school," Cat said, not breaking eye contact with the intimidating glare Jade was sending her way.

"That's great, the less Vega the better. I hope its life-threatening."

Seriously, _what_ was wrong with her. It was like the words were coming out of her mouth automatically, completely disconnected from her thoughts. Before Jade could even think, she would spit out a snarky response. And apparently the redhead understood this, if the roll of her eyes were any indication.

"Jade, I know about you two," said Cat.

A moment of silence passed as Jade waited for a crack of a smile or a chuckle from the girl to indicate she was simply making a bad joke. But as the silence dragged on, the goth realized her friend really did know something. And it didn't take a genius to figure out who must have told her.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she whispered angrily. She couldn't believe Vega was actually idiotic enough to tell people about them. Honestly, how hard was it to keep your fucking mouth shut and mind your own goddamn business?

"Tori didn't tell me," Cat clarified quickly, immediately understanding the conclusion the pale girl must have jumped to. "She wouldn't do that to you. You two are just so obvious I can't believe people don't see it. I'd thought for sure Andre would have picked up on it but even he thinks you and Tori hate each other."

"Cat, you're confused. That's not what's happening."

"Jade, honestly?" she asked exasperatedly. "Are you actually going to sit here and tell me I'm wrong about you two?"

Before Jade could do anything to stop herself or even take a moment to think about sharing her troubles with her friend, something snapped inside of her and she was suddenly filled with anger. It was as if the dam containing all her fury had violently broken apart, flooding her body with an uncontrollable amount of rage. Since when had Cat fucking Valentine ever had the balls to confront her about anything? Least of all bother Jade about her personal life? This was just another collateral damage of being friends with Vega, she was sure. What was she thinking actually feeling the need to fix things with that pathetic bitch? Vega had made her into some kind of emotionally feeble idiot and had obviously dragged her reputation down into the shitter. Well, it was past time that Jade pulled her head out of her ass so she could put everyone back in their fucking place.

"Seriously Cat, did you ingest an unusually high amount of lead as a kid or is there really is no reason for why you're this exceptionally retarded?" she asked the girl scathingly. "Let's get one thing straight: you are wrong about a lot of fucking things, this being at the top of the goddamn list. So I'd suggest you shut up right now and _never_ even think about talking to me about shit that isn't any of your fucking concern. Got it?"

She fully expected this to silence the girl, to see hurt and sadness in her expression with held back tears, or even for the girl to get up and walk away from the table. What Jade didn't expect was to see a defiant glare the girl's eye, for her jaw to set in anger, or for Cat to _actually_ give her a response.

"See _I _get that being this cold-hearted bitch is all you know how to do," she started coldly. "I may not know why but I don't bother you about it because I know you don't like opening up. Except now you're sharing things about yourself with Tori–"

"You are _so_ fucking wron–"

"Jade, would you shut up for like five seconds?" fumed the redhead. Jade gave her a quiet glare but otherwise closed her mouth, she had never seen her friend this pissed off at anyone – least of all at _her_. So the pale girl forcibly contained her instinctual rage for the moment and let Cat continue.

"Like I was saying… Tori came into the picture and suddenly you're giving pieces of yourself to her without even realizing it. You're opening up to her all the while being extra bitchy and mean to her just because she confuses you. But I'm telling you that sooner or later she will realize she can do better than this… better than _you_," stated Cat bluntly. "So _I'd_ suggest you cut this crap and start treating her better before she's gone for good because I _seriously_ doubt the sex is so great that she's willing to overlook your shitty attitude."

Jade didn't know if she wanted to irrationally scream at Cat for being one hundred percent completely and totally wrong and firmly declare her love for Beck or curl up in a corner and die of embarrassment. Her gut instinct almost made the decision for her but Jade continued to restrain herself and kept her mouth clamped shut. She feared that unintelligibly loud swearing and shrieking would escape from it at any given moment if she tried to respond. The dark-haired girl brought her head down to rest on the cup of coffee in her hands, attempting to contain her rivaling emotions.

"Jade, I'm your friend. I won't tell anyone, if that's what you're worrying about," the redhead told her kindly. "I just… I don't know. I thought maybe you'd like to know you have me to talk to instead of bottling things up all the time."

The pale girl lifted her head up, her emotional conflict gave her an odd sense of clarity and urgency – she realized that screaming at Cat and insulting the girl really wouldn't get her anywhere. In fact, it would only make her problems that much worse. Cat would still be sitting there knowing Jade far better than she ever expected her to and Jade would still be stuck sitting here confused about her feelings and hating Tori for having that type of control over her. She didn't know what it was, probably the redhead's angry rant combined with her own inner turmoil at the moment, but whatever it was gave her the kick in the ass that she needed to see things clearly. Jade now knew it was time to start taking the right steps for once instead of always allowing her instincts to lead her down the wrong path. Everything that she had done since she was ten years old had been out of anger or hate or spite. They had become her go-to emotions whenever she felt threatened or confused by anyone. It was finally time she realized that letting people in, maybe even trusting them wouldn't be the worst thing for her. It may actually bring her some sanity for once.

Without over-thinking her next move, she quickly got up from the table, grabbed Cat's hand and briskly started to lead them back towards the school. They walked right past Beck and their friends and she vaguely heard him ask a question which she didn't bother acknowledging with a response. She didn't have time to let herself think about Beck right now, she only had one goal in mind. Cat on the other hand was too polite to ignore him, she looked over her shoulder and told him "We'll be right back!" before quickening her pace next to Jade.

"We _will_ be right back, right? You're not going to murder me are you…?"

The goth girl bit her lower lip, trying very hard to suppress her need to yell at her friend as she tightened her grip on the girl's hand and dragged her faster back into the school. Jade lurched open the heavy metal doors creating a loud banging noise which scared Sijin, the lone person standing in the hallways, creeping by her locker.

"J-Jade! I was jus–" the skinny boy stammered, blushing an embarrassing shade of red as he tried to explain why he was hanging around Jade's locker.

"Fuck off, freak," Jade said bitingly, walking past her creepy stalker in the direction of the nearest girls' washroom.

As soon as they were inside, the goth girl yelled at some freshman bitches to get the hell out, threatening each of them within an inch of their lives as they scrambled out the door, just barely managing to avoid Jade West's infamous wrath. She then let go of Cat's hand and walked over to the opposite side of the small room and rested her head against the cold surface of the wall. Minutes passed in silence as Jade tried to figure just what the hell she wanted to say to Cat and the girl stood awkwardly behind her, unsure of what to do.

"Jade, are you okay…?" Cat finally asked, breaking the tense silence.

Jade abruptly turned around and walked right back over to the redhead, glare of anger back in her eyes and expression. "I _hate_ her," she spat out, getting right in the smaller girl's face and pointing an accusatory finger at her. Why did Cat have to go and say all those things? They only made things worse for Jade, getting closer to the truth only made her want to run in a direction _far _away from Vega. Latching on to the fallacy of being just 'sex-friends' was working out fine for the goth girl, why the fuck did things have to become complicated?

"No, you don't," the redhead said sympathetically, with a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"I _do_. I hate everything about her. She's nice and annoying and a push-over. I hate all of those things. I hate them! I hate her!"

"I actually think you're probably in lov–"

"If you finish that sentence Cat, so help you _God…_" she interrupted, a little panicky.

"Fine, then I think you're definitely _not_ in hate with her," Cat said with a hint of amusement in her tone.

"You think this is funny? This is so beyond not funny… I swear on Jesus fucking Christ himself I am _this_ close to shoving your head in that toilet!" she screamed, wildly waving her arms towards a washroom stall.

"Alright, alright! Sorry, this isn't funny!" conceded the redhead as she raised her hands in surrender, she knew full well Jade was not the type to make empty threats. "You're confused and that's okay. I'm sure Tori is too, you guys should talk about this."

"I can't _believe_ I've become this idiot who gets torn up over some girl!" Jade yelled, starting to pace back and forth between the wall and her friend, only half-listening to what Cat was saying. "Seriously, that does not sound like me. It sounds like those morons I make fun of. Now_ I_ am one of them… God, I really do hate her."

Cat crossed her arms over her chest and walked up to Jade, effectively stopping her angry pacing and forcing the pale girl to listen to what she had to say. "Jade, can stop talking like that already? Honestly, just accept that you have feelings for Tori so you can start figuring out what to do about them. Doing the hot and cold thing with her isn't good for either of you, you have to figure out what you want from her."

"It's not _that_ bad," mumbled the dark-haired girl, trying and failing to cling to the notion that feelings weren't involved. "I mean she does want it after all. We both do, what's the harm in being friends with benefits?"

"The harm is you're emotionally stunted and ignore your feelings and she's going crazy over-analyzing every little thing you do," Cat told her bluntly, pointing a finger at Jade and seeing right through the pale girl's bullshit. "So don't kid yourself, you know that you guys are more than just friends with benefits. Figure it out then talk to her."

Jade mulled over what Cat said as she walked over to the sinks, bracing her hands on the ledge, she stared the small drops of water coming out of the faucet unable to bring herself to look at her own pitiful reflection. Or worse, look in the mirror and see her friend standing behind her with a sympathetic expression. '_You can't spell sympathetic without the pathetic_' she thought miserably. Because really, that's exactly how she felt – pathetic and helpless and excruciatingly stupid. She didn't know what the hell she was doing with Tori and had no clue how to piece everything back together, God she _really_ needed to clock in some therapy time. The dark-haired girl sighed and shut her eyes, attempting to form a decent explanation for Cat.

"The thing is… I understand all of that, I _know_ I need to figure some stuff out," she started, unsure of exactly how to explain herself. "And I want to try to be better… for her, I really do. But I just… I don't even know what I feel towards her, or _why_ I don't want to feel those things. She confuses me and messes with my head. It's like she's become this puppeteer, controlling me and my emotions just by pulling the strings and I _hate_ that. I hate that more than I can even begin to explain."

Cat took a step forward to stand beside Jade, turning her back to the mirror, she leaned backwards against an adjacent sink and crossed her arms once again. She stood silently and looked at Jade, whose posture was uncomfortably tense and her eyes tightly shut. Cat was at a loss of how to comfort her troubled friend at the moment. She had never had to help her out like this before. The fiercely independent and proud Jade West that she was familiar with rarely, if ever, leaned on anyone for support and on the few occasions she had, it was only with Beck. But those situations seemed frivolous and laughable compared to now, needing comfort after getting beat out for a lead in a play or being slightly off-key in rehearsal didn't have anything on the type of comfort Jade needed in this moment.

It hadn't been that hard for the redhead to deduce Tori and Jade had feelings for one another, in fact, she was almost certain Jade had had a thing for the Latina since her first day at Hollywood Arts. She didn't understand how no one else could see it, the two girls made a bizarrely perfect couple, they were very definition of opposites attract. However, Cat hadn't planned this far ahead, she hadn't expected to get as far as getting Jade to listen to what she had to say on the matter never mind actually convincing Jade to open up to her about Tori. The redhead had expected an ass-kicking from Jade well before she expected a confession, but now that the goth girl had opened up to her, she was sure that Jade had started to change and grow for the better. Sharing her thoughts with Cat demonstrated exactly the sort of qualities Tori needed from Jade and she was now convinced that the goth deserved a chance with Tori. However, that didn't mean that Jade was going to get one or that she simply wasn't going to regress back to her old ways. Not wanting to push the dark-haired girl too far, Cat decided to stop telling Jade what to do about Tori – she would have to figure that out on her own. She instead continued to stand beside her friend, making sure that Jade knew she had an ally.

"Jade… I don't know how to help you," she admitted sadly. "But I'm right here, alright? And, if you're okay with it, I'm going to hold your hand now."

Jade let out a soft chuckle, she was glad Cat knew her crazy well enough by now to ask permission before touching her. She opened a tightly clenched fist and turned her hand over for her friend, feeling the warmth of Cat's grip in her cold, shaky hand. Jade opened her eyes and slowly brought them to focus on her mirrored reflection. She looked fucking terrible, far paler than usual, a kind of sickly shade that made it look like she was about to vomit. What the hell had Vega done to her? Somehow the brunette had managed to tear down all of Jade's fences, destroy the forts guarding her emotions, and claw her way into Jade's heart all within a matter of months. And as much as the dark-haired girl hated to admit it, a part of her was glad for it… Tori brought her something that she never knew could be a possibility for her – happiness. It was as if she had been drowning in sorrow for so long she had forgotten how to breathe in anything else, least of all joy… but now the Latina had made that into a real possibility. And yet there was a voice in the back of Jade's mind whispering to her, telling her she was a traitor, telling her that she was betraying the one thing that was supposed to be a constant in her life. That everything Tori was making her feel was wrong and sickening, that people like Jade were undeserving of these sorts of things. That none of this was real and definitely not worth the gamble. Jade was stuck at an impasse, conflicted between the desire to fight and the desire to run.

The raven-haired girl suddenly pushed herself away from the sink, pulling her hand out of her friend's grasp. She took a few steps back as her mind worked a thousand miles an hour trying to figure out her next move. The goth simply couldn't wait any longer, _this_ couldn't wait any longer. She had to figure her shit out and that wasn't going to happen just by standing here and staring at her depressing reflection in a dirty school washroom. Jade had to get out of here, she had to go see her now.

"…Jade? Are you alright…?" asked a concerned Cat, furrowing her eyebrows at Jade's sudden change in attitude.

"I–Yes, I think so," she replied calmly, quickly pulling her phone out to view the time. "Listen, I have to go I need–I need to leave. I have to go see… someone. I'll text you later."

"Alright, are you sure you're okay though?"

"Yes, definitely, thank you. Really, this was–just thanks, Cat."

Jade gave Cat a small smile before turning away and rushing out the door, determined to sort out all this feelings crap once and for all. There was only one person who could help her with that and Jade didn't care that their appointment was for much later today, she no longer had time to waste. She needed answers and she was sure as hell going to get them.

* * *

It was past three in the afternoon by the time Tori decided to completely leave her bedroom. She had woken up instinctually at six in the morning, briefly thinking about Jade and the janitor's closet before her haze of dream state ended and she recalled the events of yesterday. She had immediately frowned, closed her eyes, and willed herself to go back to sleep but her thoughts kept returning to the goth girl. The brunette felt torn between wanting to stand her ground and wanting to talk to Jade. And the physical pain of her cramps didn't help her think any clearly. Coming to a rash decision, she had gotten out of bed, informed her parents she felt ill as she grabbed some painkillers and retreated to her room. Staying at home so she could avoid interacting with Jade was probably a very pathetic plan but Tori couldn't care less about her pride right now. All she wanted to do was rest and pretend the dark-haired girl didn't exist. And also eat hundreds of calories of shit and cry to her heart's content.

She did just that for the better part of the morning, wasting time catching up on TV shows and munching her way through a bag of Doritos and half a tub of strawberry-flavoured ice cream. She had texted Cat and Andre and told them about her 'sickness' and tried very hard to not text Jade as well. The goth girl hadn't even bothered to message or call her after their fight yesterday and Tori was sure as hell done being the one taking those steps. In fact, the brunette realized midway through eating a chip, that for the past few weeks all she had done was allow thoughts of Jade consume her life, making her unable to focus on any other tasks. They had somehow become a higher priority to her than anything else, even her ambitions. She hadn't practiced her scales in ages or even bothered to audition for any parts lately. Hell, she hadn't even touched her textbooks or reviewed her notes in God knows how long. How on earth had she let that happen?

Tori had always prided herself on being a good student, on being punctual for all her classes and rarely ever missing them, and always maintaining a relatively high grade point average. Had she really let Jade affect her life _this_ much? The absurdity of that alone kick-started something inside the brunette, she would _not_ let one girl ruin everything else in her life… especially not an asshole like Jade West. Glancing at the time, she decided a quarter to eleven was probably a good time to put away the junk food and pull out her books for the rest of the day. It was only when she heard her sister arrive home from school did she leave her room knowing full well she wouldn't be able to get anything done now that Trina was home.

"Oh my God, Tori! Ugh, you will not _believe_ what happened to me today!" exclaimed her sister just as Tori walked downstairs. Her sister slammed her bag down onto the couch and started angrily pacing through the room."The school cancelled my One Woman Show!"

"The nerve," Tori responded in a bored tone. She sat down on the red couch, grabbed the remote and flipped through the channels to find a particular soap opera. Though it seemed one was already taking place in the family room right now with the way her sister was acting.

"I know right! They said there was some stupid scheduling error," she threw her arms up in the air and walked over to the kitchen to open the refrigerator. "Apparently there's a benefit concert or something happening that night. The school already rented the space out for that crap. My show was going to be _so_ much better than that, ugh."

"Yeah, how dare they," the younger Vega replied, unable to fake any more interest than that.

"I'm _so_ writing a complaint. I need some justice! In the form of someone getting fired!" she declared dramatically as she slumped down next to Tori with the remaining tub of ice cream.

"Sounds totally reasonable," Tori said only half-listening as she focused on a handsome doctor cheating on his beautiful wife with his ex-wife's hot younger sister. Who, strangely enough, looked a little bit like Jade. '_Ugh, stupid universe and its stupid signs._'

"Oh and guess who I saw standing by your locker this morning?" Trina said with a mouthful of ice cream.

"Who?" she asked, barely listening to her sister. She was too busy trying to unsee the similarities between the hot actress and _her_ hot actress.

"Jade!" yelled her sister, instantly getting Tori's attention.

"Wait, _what_? Why?"

"Yeah, I don't know. I went in early to go practice for my show and I found those benefit idiots and the principle talking about their lineup for the night. And let me tell you, _so_ unimpressive. It's going to be a snooze fest and you know Sijin is doing lighting so that's gonna be a disaster as per–"

"Trina! Focus!" the brunette exclaimed, effectively cutting off her sister's tangent and snapping her fingers in front of the girl's face. "What exactly was Jade doing by my locker?"

"Sheesh, rude much," the older Vega grumbled out, earning her a glare from Tori. "Well I don't know, Tori! She was just sort of hanging there from what I could tell. But knowing that crazy bitch, she was probably planting something in your locker. So, you know, just don't be surprised when you open it and tarantulas start crawling out or something."

Jade had been… waiting for her? Jade West who hated her had stood by her locker this morning waiting for Tori. The younger Vega suddenly felt overwhelmed by the mixed feelings she was getting. On one hand, she hated Jade for her unapologetic attitude and for treating her horribly on a consistent basis and on the other, Tori was desperately clinging to the hope that maybe the dark-haired girl had _finally_ changed. That she had finally realized that she _did_ feel something for Tori and was ready to admit it. '_Or, she just wanted to fuck and I'm over-analyzing yet again_' pointed out her logical self. And before the Latina could stop herself, tears started pooling in her eyes and it became harder for her to breathe normally. Just, what the _fuck_ did Jade want from her?

Frantic sobs started raking through her body and she started shaking, her breathing becoming increasingly constricted. Her shaky movements and uneven breathing caught Trina's attention and the girl immediately jumped off the couch, throwing the ice cream tub on the coffee table and panicking at the sight of her younger sister.

"Holy shit, Tori. Are you okay!?" said the panicked voice of Trina.

Her breathing got increasingly ragged as more sobs convulsed through her body and streams of tears flowed down her face without an end in sight. Tori couldn't bring herself to care that her sister was in the room right now freaking the fuck out. All Tori knew was that she couldn't even get air into her lungs. It was like she was drowning on dry land, everything was closing in around her and she was suffocating from it all. Was she having a panic attack or something? What the fuck was happening? And why the _fuck_ was Trina yelling so loudly? She saw a blurry outline of her sister running into the kitchen and hurrying back with some brown blob thing which she shoved into Tori's face.

"Here, breathe into that," Trina ordered as calmly as possible as she sat down beside Tori and started to rub her back, attempting to calm her down.

Tori did as she was told and started manically breathing into the brown paper bag, clinging onto it like a life raft. After about half a minute, the brunette's breathing started to even out and return to normal. She brought the bag away from her face and leaned back into Trina's arm. Her sister's hand was still rubbing her back, giving Tori a soothing sense of comfort she had only ever gotten from her mother. Trina silently passed her a box of tissues and Tori pulled out a good half a dozen to wipe the tears and gross snot off of her face. They sat in silence for a few minutes before her impatient sister could no longer stand it.

"So are you going to tell me what the fuck just happened or…?"

"Honestly, I don't even know where to begin…" Tori whispered, suddenly feeling exhausted.

"Are you, like, afraid of Jade?" asked Trina in a concerned tone. "Is it something we should tell dad about? I'm sure the cops already have a file on that freak, dad could help out you know."

"No, no. It's nothing like that," she said quickly, as she leaned away from her sister to sit back normally. "I actually… what I mean is that she and I, we… um–it's complicated between us."

Trina gave her a blank stare, evidently expecting more of an explanation than that. Tori sighed and averted her gaze, looking at the television screen. She didn't know how tell her sister that she was in love with an insane girl who also happened to be dating her friend. Tori didn't know how to admit aloud that she had been sleeping with Jade, lying to her friends, and was basically a dirty mistress who didn't mind being used for sex. And worst of all, she would do it the same way all over again if she had to.

"Tori, what the hell does that even mean?" Trina demanded. "That's the sort of stuff people in relationships say. So, you know, that seems like a pretty crazy thing to say about you and Jade…"

Tori brought a shameful gaze up to meet with her sister who looked back confused before the realization dawned on her. Her eyes opened wider and her jaw practically dropped to the floor.

"So… You and Jade?" her sister asked slowly. "You two are… a thing?"

"Um, yeah," replied Tori awkwardly, unsure of what Trina was thinking at the moment.

"_You _and Jade…"

"That's right."

"_Jade_ and you!"

"Yeah, Trina. I know. It's crazy–"

"Yeah, I'll say! You and Jade freaking West!" blurted the older Vega, still in shock. "Wait, does that mean Beck is single because _hell-o_…"

Tori laughed and rolled her eyes. Leave it to Trina to make things about her even in this situation. Rare moments like this made Tori thankful for having such a crazy, self-centered older sibling, she provided great comic relief.

"Jade and Beck are still together as far as I know," she informed her sister. A crushed look appeared on Trina's face who was undoubtedly already plotting all the ways she could get Beck alone and all to herself. "_But_ Jade's been cheating on Beck with me. Or rather she was, I kind of ended things…"

"Oh… So do you, like, miss her or something?"

"I–yes, sort of? I don't know," Tori answered honestly. She really wasn't sure how she felt about Jade, sure she may be in love with the goth girl but that didn't allow her to overlook all the shit she had been put through because of Jade. She hated the type of person she had become because of the girl and if it had been anyone else treating her the way the dark-haired girl treated her, she would never have continued their relationship.

"Listen, I know I'm not the greatest sister in the world but I've seen how Jade treats you and it's worse than how she treats everyone else," said Trina, almost as if she had read Tori's mind. "I don't really get what you see in her but I think her actions speak for herself. You're hurting and you feel scared because of her and that's not the sort of way you should be feeling in a relationship. That's not the kind of person you are, Tori and you can't let her break you like this."

Tori glanced at her sister, surprised at how insightful and reasonable she was sounding. She didn't think Trina knew anything about relationships considering all of hers ended within a matter of weeks. But her sister was right, it may hurt like hell to get over Jade but it was better and healthier for her to try to do so. Tori knew she was good person, maybe nicer than she ought to be but not completely naive and stupid. But what she was letting Jade do to her, what she was becoming because of the girl _was_ naive and stupid. She had more self-respect than that and damnit she _deserved_ better than to feel like this.

"How about we watch a movie, okay?" asked Trina anxiously, Tori's silence making her nervous that she would start breaking down once again. "Something silly and romantic, maybe?"

"Thank you," Tori replied, giving her sister a small smile and reaching out to hold her hand.

"Anytime," the older Vega said with a relieved expression. "But yeah, dating Jade is as about as good of an idea as the principle cancelling my show. Seriously, what was he thinking? I bet he didn't even read my script, it was gonna be a shocker let me tell you…"

Tori chuckled, her sister's self-obsessive nature was probably the best and worst thing about her. She knew now that the conversation had come full circle back to Trina and her show, there would be non-stop talking from her sister. The brunette smiled and got up from the couch, she'd have to put on a movie herself now that Trina was busy detailing scenes of her show. Who needed Jade West when she had a crazy older sister and great group of friends? She'd be just fine without her.

* * *

**A/N: SO sorry for the long wait... Got caught up in boring real life crap. But enough of that now! I hope you liked this chapter! Took me a while to get it right and I'm still not sure if it is. I know some things may be a bit OoC but that's just my interpretation. I wanted to make it as non-after school special as possible but it was harder than expected. Oh well I tried and I hope it wasn't too bad, let me know your thoughts (i.e review and all that other good stuff). The next chapter will most likely be the last chapter, by the way. Thanks for reading! **

**(Also apologies for the weird chrome text in chapter 1, editing on here is a bitch sometimes... And if you don't know what I'm talking about, great! Move along.)**


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